It used to be dangerous to be the bearer of bad news. In ancient times, people often killed the messenger if they disliked the message! Business today may be more civilized, but the fact remains that a bad-news message is one that your reader doesn’t want to receive.
To deliver bad news, you have two choices: (1) state the bad news right away, or (2) soften it by leading up to it with an explanation. If the bad news is minor, or if your reader expects it, go ahead and be direct. But in most cases, the second approach is better. You can organize bad news messages using the simple BEBE formula . This chapter shows you how.
Your goal when sending bad news is to write a message that is clear, fair, and courteous.
Prepare to draft.
Closing Express regret (without apologizing) and end politely.
“Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy.”
—Howard H. Newton
February 12, 2019
8900 Coast Road
Seattle, WA 98134-6508
Opening: Buffer: Specify the bid and thank the bidder. SUBJECT: Bid 4459 Everson City Park
Thank you for your bid to design and develop Everson’s eight-acre city park adjacent to Kingston Elementary School and the Nooksack River.
Middle: Highlight the reader’s strengths objectively, but specify why another bid won. Your bid was competitive for several of the criteria outlined in our original Request for Proposals (RFP). Your cost estimates, experience, and references were as strong as those from other bidders. However, Earth-Scape Design’s overall plan tipped the bid in their favor. By including a variety of native plant species, Earth-Scape’s natural, sustainable landscape will require less long-term care and create less stress on the Nooksack watershed. Because their plan contained a variety of plants, it also offered added educational value.
Closing: If appropriate, encourage bidding on future projects. The Planning and Development Committee appreciates the work that you put into your proposal. We look forward to your interest in future Everson projects.
Development Committee Chair
Confirmation of email sent on June 14, 2019.
Mr. Jamaal Ellison
1976 Boulder Road, Suite 1214
Charlotte, NC 28261-1203
Dear Mr. Ellison:
Opening: Buffer: Restate the problem and show concern. We have finished investigating your concerns about the ATV16 drives that you installed for American Linc Company. We do understand that the drive and serial-link failures have inconvenienced both you and American Linc.
Middle: Use sound evidence and state the claim denial clearly. After testing the drives you returned, our line engineer determined that they failed because the temperatures in the cabinet exceeded the maximum operating temperature of the drives, leading to electronic-component failure. As noted in the ATV16 manual, the drive may malfunction under such conditions. For this reason, we cannot repair the drives without charge. Offer helpful alternatives. We would be happy, however, to consider the following solutions:
Closing: Focus on the next step and on future business. Please let me know how you would like to proceed. I look forward to hearing from you and to continuing our partnership.
February 26, 2019
BHC Office Supply Company
39 Davis Street
Pittsburgh, PA 15209-1334
ATTENTION: Shipping Manager
Opening: Buffer: Establish the claim’s context. I’m writing about a problem with the purchase order #07-1201. Copies of the original PO plus two invoices are enclosed.
Middle: Tactfully spell out the facts. Here is the sequence of events concerning PO 07-1201:
I faxed the original purchase order.
Because I hadn’t heard from your office, I spoke with Kim in customer service. Then I re-sent the PO because she could not find the original in your system.
I received a partial shipment, with the remaining items back-ordered (invoice 0151498).
Point out results of the problem in a neutral tone. Jan. 22, 2019:
I then received a second shipment that was complete (invoice 0151511). Noting the duplication, I contacted Kim, and she cancelled the back-ordered items.
Specify the adjustment that you want. I am returning the partial order (duplicate items) by UPS. Please credit our account for the following: (1) the duplicate items listed on invoice 0151498 ($863.85), (2) the shipping costs of the partial order ($69.20), and (3) the UPS costs to return the duplicate items ($58.10). The total credit comes to $991.15.
Closing: Anticipate future business. I look forward to receiving an adjusted statement and to continued cooperation in the future.
Gary Sheridan—Office Manager
January 15, 2019
Mr. Steven Grinnel
Director of Operations
Industrial Aggregate Equipment Company
4018 Tower Road
Albuquerque, NM 87105-3443
Dear Mr. Grinnel:
Opening: Buffer: Specify the problem and the reason for concern. I am very concerned about the 40-foot Snorkel Lift that we contracted with you to rebuild when we traded in our old Marklift. Continued delays in the rebuilding schedule and subsequent problems with the lift itself leave me uncertain about Industrial Aggregate’s ability to provide Rankin Technologies with continued service.
Middle: Provide a detailed outline of the problem and its history. Here is an overview of the problem:
January 15, 2019
Middle: Give needed background and attach relevant support. We have been extremely disappointed with the lift’s condition and overall performance. Your original promise of a fully operational Snorkel Lift in “like new” condition by July 2018 (agreement copy enclosed) has not been met.
In the past, we have appreciated your service and assistance. From our experience of the past six months, however, we can only conclude that you are experiencing problems that make it difficult for you to provide the service Rankin Technologies needs.
Closing: State the proposed solution clearly and firmly. We want to resolve this issue. By February 15, 2019 please provide us with a lift that meets all the specifications agreed to and that has no operational deficiencies. If you are unable to provide the lift by that date, we will cancel our order and seek reimbursement for the used Marklift we traded in April 2018.
Maintenance Project Engineer
copy of agreement
Andrew Longfellow President, Industrial Aggregate Equipment Company
Ms. Mary-Lou Twain
780 East 41st Street, Apartment 712
Houston, TX 77022-1183
Opening: Buffer: Express appreciation for the application. Thank you for meeting with loan officer Jean Olms last Friday and applying for a loan to open your gift shop.
When we review an application, one of the factors that we consider is the applicant’s credit history. A good credit history shows a pattern of paying obligations. Middle: Provide objective reasons for the rejection. Then state the rejection and offer suggestions. At this time, because you have not established a credit history, we cannot approve your request to borrow $200,000. However, you can establish a good credit history in one of two ways:
Closing: If appropriate, encourage applying when conditions change. We hope that these suggestions will help you begin to establish a good credit history. Then you may reapply for the loan that you requested.
P.S. Please see the reverse side of this letter for information about your rights under the Federal Equal Credit Opportunity Act and other relevant laws.
Opening: Buffer: State your reason for writing. As you know, this past Monday, July 12, the FDA came to our plant for a spot inspection. I’m writing to share the inspection results and our response.
Middle: State the bad news factually and calmly. The good news is that the FDA inspectors did not find problems warranting a shutdown of Premium Meats. However, the bad news is that the inspectors cited us for three major violations resulting in a fine of $100,000.
Focus on solutions: what has been done and what needs to be done. The FDA is sending us a clear message. We must take immediate steps to protect our customers, our jobs, and our company. To that end, I have taken the following steps:
Closing: Stress a positive future, but be realistic. Ask for feedback, if appropriate. With short-term solutions and long-term cooperation, we will keep Premium Meats operating and prospering. If you have any suggestions or questions, please speak to your immediate supervisor or a member of the Quality Task Force.
January 15, 2019
Ms. Virginia Beloit
72 Elias Street
Washington, DC 20018-8262
Opening: Buffer: Introduce the topic and its context. Periodically, insurance companies review their policies, assess the cost of offering the policies, and make changes where needed. When that happens, it’s my responsibility as an insurance agent to inform my clients and help them make necessary adjustments.
Middle: Give rationale for the change. Last week Hawkeye Casualty, the company with whom you have your auto insurance policy, discontinued all policies for drivers considered “high risk.” Because you have had a traffic accident within the past 12 months and have received two speeding tickets during the same period, the company has relabeled your status as “high risk.” State the change. If possible, offer help. As a result, Hawkeye Casualty has cancelled your auto-insurance policy effective January 31, 2019. However, I have found another company that will offer you auto insurance. While the cost of this new policy is somewhat higher than your present policy, the coverage is comparable, and the company is reliable.
Closing: Explain what the reader should do. Please call me at 612-489-0020 within the next week so we can discuss the situation and decide how to proceed.
Good morning, Laurie, Julie, and Mark:
Opening: Buffer: Explain the context and give some good news. Last week, Jesse Cam from marketing sent me last year's sales report, along with a summary of our customer survey (copies attached). As the report shows, we had another good year: annual receipts in our three stores increased 9 percent. In addition, the survey shows that customers’ satisfaction with our Maintenance Departments continues to be high: 74 percent, Excellent; 18 percent, Good; 6 percent, Fair; and 2 percent, Poor. That’s great news—and our employees deserve the credit!
Middle: Explain the problem, focusing on issues and solutions, not individuals. However, the survey also shows that our sales personnel can improve. During your next meetings with them, please read through customers’ comments listed in Jesse’s summary. Note statements like those listed below, identify the problems, and discuss how we can improve:
Closing: Politely explain follow-up. After reviewing the attachments and then meeting with your sales staffs, please write a report on your findings and send copies to Jim N., Jamie, and me.
Mr. Gavin Farnsworth
Miami Computer Enterprises
South Benton Mall
Miami, FL 33166-1217
Opening: Buffer: Show appreciation. Thank you for your proposal that I join your Customer Training Department. I appreciate your confidence in my ability to provide Miami Computer Enterprises’ clients with instruction and technical support.
Middle: Give your reasons objectively, stress positives in the proposal, state the rejection tactfully, and explore other options. While considering your proposal, I reflected on the reasons that I started my own computer-consulting service two years ago. One of the reasons was flexibility. As an independent consultant, I could regulate my work activities around family demands. Although your proposal was financially attractive, I must turn down your offer, at least for now.
In 17 months (August 2020), my youngest child will enter grade school. If you are still interested in me at that time, I would be happy to reconsider your proposal. Until then, I hope you will want me to continue doing contract projects for MCE, especially with your Spanish-speaking clients.
Closing: End positively. Thanks again for your generous proposal. I wish MCE continued growth and success.
Ms. Marlis DeQuincey
Family First Center
Fairfield, NY 12377-2089
Opening: Buffer: Express interest in the reader’s cause. Dear Ms. DeQuincey:
I read with interest your letter about Family First Center’s project. Your efforts to build a shelter for women and children victimized by domestic violence is certainly commendable.
Middle: Provide clear reasons for not participating. I am honored that you have invited Rankin Technologies to participate in your project. Rankin seeks to be a good corporate citizen and a positive force in the community. To that end, we have already committed ourselves to partnerships with nonprofit organizations that mesh with Rankin’s interests in the environment, in urban renewal, and in Third-World development. State the refusal tactfully. For this reason, we cannot participate in your project at this time.
If possible, offer an alternative. Rankin employees will, however, be encouraged to continue to support your work in the community campaign. In fact, I will distribute materials about your project to our employees so that individuals may choose to get involved.
Closing: Affirm the reader. I wish you well, Ms. DeQuincey, in your important work of helping the victims of physical and emotional violence in this community.
Opening: Buffer: Restate the request and offer a point of agreement. Dear Oscar:
I’ve reviewed your request to send all the sales reps to the Netware training seminar in Cincinnati. Oscar, I agree that this training would help your staff be more productive.
Middle: State your reasons briefly, clearly, and objectively. If possible, explore alternatives. With your request in mind, I reviewed our training budget to see if we could afford the seminar. A large portion of our budget has already been used to upgrade design software for the engineering staff. In addition, we have some prior commitments for training office staff in August. Therefore, there is not enough money available to send all sales reps to Cincinnati.
Perhaps there’s another way. If we sent two of your key staff to the seminar, they could then train others in your department. Or we could plan an extensive in-house training session for your entire group.
Closing: End on a note of encouragement. I’d be happy to explore these or other options with you. With a little creativity, I think that we could get your reps the training they need. Just call or email me (ext. 3957).
Opening: Buffer: Restate the suggestion and show appreciation. Hi, Duane:
Thanks for suggesting that Rankin create work-at-home possibilities for staff. I’ve been intrigued with this work concept for some time.
Middle: Explain how you reviewed the suggestion and why it won’t work. Explore other options. I asked Melissa St. James in Human Resources about the costs and benefits of telecommuting. She said that her department conducted a feasibility study on telecommuting three years ago and concluded that it would not benefit the company for these reasons:
Perhaps the situation has changed since that study. Melissa said that she would be willing to discuss the idea with you.
Closing: Affirm the reader and invite further suggestions. Please follow up on that offer, Duane. In addition, please continue to submit suggestions for improving operations here at Rankin. I appreciate your work!
Your goal when sending bad news is to write a message that is clear, fair, and courteous.
“Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws.”
